BECOMING AN OTHER

Mary Gray Kaye

          Throughout the March thirty-first morning, in many different words I heard the thought – respect: "Listen to what others say" – respect. "Learn from their experiences" – respect. "Enrich yourself with others’ differences" – respect. "Appreciate their struggles" – respect.

          That lesson is often preached. Through the years I have absorbed it, sometimes even practiced it. But always the "others" were those whose skin was darker, "others" with a slant to their eyes, "others" who wore clothes unlike mine, who spoke in an unfamiliar tongue.

          At the Intergenerational Symposium that Thursday morning it suddenly struck me that I was now an "other". I, who had traveled the mainstream all my many years, being generous and liberal and accommodating, conscious of "them" and the conditions of their lives, I was now on the banks of that stream. The "other" was now those of us with shades of grey in our hair, with our gnarled fingers and sunken cheeks, our tremorous voices, our sensible shoes and our rumpled hats. We were now being pointed to as the "other" to be listened to, learned from, now to be a source of enrichment, the survivors of struggles, respected for what we offered to the mix. The undercurrent is the possibility that none of the above is happening, just as it often didn’t when we were on the other side of "other".

          But what an enlightenment to turn that corner. What a relief to offer the responsibility of civility on to a new generation and sit back and empathize with its fight to better the world, to succeed where we failed, to take our humanness to a new level. How it lightens our load to watch the torch being taken up by such enthusiastic hands.

          Beyond that relief I find, in listening to the unfurrowed and fresh brown and black and yellow faces surrounding me that I still have much to learn, and still can – from them. Much to learn. It would behoove me also to listen respectfully and take note. To enrich myself with their outlooks. To marvel at their accomplishments. To respect.

CONTINUANCE

Southern Illinois University

Spring/Summer 2005